We're Not in LA Anymore, Toto
by Jackson the Griffin-Breeder
Summary: When a dead marine is discovered in a storage closet at the SGC, who better to call then the LA team?
1. Chapter 1

So. It begins. I've always been an SG-1 fanfic writer but...well, NCIS: LA had to happen eventually. What better way then to combine them? Please bear with me, as I am extremely busy and this happens (as in...writing) mostly when my brain hurts too much from homework. This chapter happened because I had some 5-hour energy way too late at night. So, without further ado...(besides the obligitory "I don't own these shows" bit)...

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><p>When Callen walked into the office on Monday morning, his faithful partner was attempting to read the newspaper- and obviously failing. His grin and head shake indicated activity at Kensi's desk. "What are you doing?" he addressed his question to the odd pair sitting across the way, elbows on the table, arm-wrestling. Deeks was loosing, from the look on his face.<p>

"What does it look like?" came the reply from the current underdog.

"Stay out of this, Callen!" Kensi put up her other hand, as if to block the chuckle escaping their team leader's lips.

He chuckled anyway. "What'd he do?" he asked Sam.

"Told her there was no way she had a full range of motion in her arms wearing that shirt."

G cocked his head and narrowed his eyes, studying his junior agent's starched button-up shirt. "Looks like she's doing fine to me."

Sam nodded and shook his head again, turning back to his paper.

A shrill whistle interrupted the morning festivities.

Seeing a weakness in her opponent's distraction, Kensi plunged her partner's hand into the top of her desk. She raised both in victory, stood up, and followed the whistle without so much as a word.

"Ow! Kensi! That hurt! Seriously, what did my hand just hit? Is that-is that a tack! Oh man, I think I need to get to a hospital- I could get tetanus! Kensi!"

She turned dramatically from the stairs. "Don't be such a baby, Deeks."

He shook his hand as he followed the rest of the team upstairs. "Seriously, did you guys see that?"

"Good morning, all." Hetty greeted her team from the front of the dimly-blue lit ops center. "This is proving to be an interesting day already. Let me introduce you to an old friend, Dr. Daniel Jackson."

A rather average-looking man in a tweed suit waved awkwardly from Nell's side. G couldn't shake the feeling that this man belonged in front of a freshman history course at a major university. "An old friend from where, Hetty?"

She fixed him with her beady-eyed gaze. "Oh, just an Air Force project in Colorado. It's extremely classified." She smiled at Dr. Jackson grandly. "He's here to brief you."

"Actually, I'm going to have to have you sign this first," he produced a stack of papers from his satchel. "They're non-disclosure agreements. I'm sorry I can't tell you more beforehand, but this is a very, very highly classified project. Ms. Lange only knows about it because we needed information from her a couple of years ago. That, and the General trusts her."

G flipped through the pages of the stack he had been handed and clicked his pen to sign. "What do _we_ have to do with the Air Force?"

"Well, actually, we have Marines on base. Technically it's an Air Force project, but it's a Marine that brings me here." Seeing that the agreements were all signed and being handed into a nice piled on the table, he nodded to Eric, who brought up several pictures of a crime scene. The Marine in the picture had obviously been beaten severely and stuffed into what looked like a storage closet in a bunker. "This is Col. Brian Williams, USMC, and old friend. Despite our different callings in life, we both shared an interest in language and culture- he was the C.O. of a new joint-nation team- we've been trying to include the Russians in our little project for years now unsuccessfully, and now we had a chance. Brian was fluent in Russian, and actually grew up in Moscow, where his father ran tours for an American travel agency. He was a great Marine and a good friend."

Jackson's gaze drifted to his shoes as he crossed his arms and pushed up his glasses, somehow simultaneously.

"So, why are _we_ on this case?" G asked his boss, trying not to be too insensitive to the obviously grieving man at the head of the briefing.

"Because, Mr. Callen, the suspects are Russian military! This is not a simple murder- an American Marine was murdered inside a tightly-locked up base and the primary suspects are foreign military personnel! Why wouldn't we be on the case?"

He nodded and addressed Jackson, "We're going to have to know the details. What was he working on? The teams you've mentioned, what do they do? And who are your suspects?"

Dr. Jackson nodded. "I'm going to have to start at the beginning and just explain the program as quickly as I can. That's why I had you sign the agreement- we're going on site, and I need to know you will keep this under wraps. National security, and all."

Callen nodded. "We got a flight to catch?"

Jackson smiled. "In a matter of speaking." He pulled a walkie-talkie out of his jacket pocket, "Ready, Sam?"

They all listened as a woman's voice crackled back, "We're in position now. I'll wait for your signal."

Jackson handed them each a wrist-band. "Just hold on to this and don't freak out. I'll warn you, this is going to be quite a trip, but you won't believe me if we don't do it this way."

Callen looked at Sam and Deeks looked at Kensi. They took the wristbands and began strapping them on, looking expectantly at Hetty. She looked back, unperturbed. "I will be remaining here, with Mr. Beale and Miss Jones, of course. Nothing I haven't seen before."

"Actually, Ms. Lange, we've improved things since you visited- and I'd like to take your techs with us for the initial briefing, if I might. I don't want to have to explain this twice." Jackson pleaded, extending wristbands to the techs in question. Eric and Nell waited on Hetty's nod to take them. She looked thoughtfully at Dr. Jackson, then said, "Certainly. But please send them back down when you can. Mr. Beale, do what you can to link our ops center to their own, will you? Thank you."

Dr. Jackson handed her a wristband, which she waved off. "I will still remain here, Dr. Jackson. Someone has to keep the fort. You may send me the video of their reactions later."

He smiled gently. "I'll do what I can, but the General is pretty picky about information leaving the base." She nodded and waved at the group of them. "Away with you!"

Jackson spoke into the walkie-talkie again. "Alright Sam. We're ready in three, two…"

A blinding light enveloped the team, and they disappeared, leaving Hetty quite alone. She grunted and walked out the swishing automatic doors. "I think I'll have some tea while it's quiet here," she muttered to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, back on the _George Hammond_…

"Vala, you're gonna need to be nice to these people, ok? They're federal agents," Cam warned from his position at the head of a conference table.

"What? I don't care what kind of agents they are, they better be nice to me, because I'm the visitor on this planet!" she sang back, climbing up to sit on the table in front of him. "Besides, how bad can they be? Sam says one of them is her childhood friend, and Sam's friends are usually nice, right?"

"I believe that we make up the majority of ColonelCarter's friends, ValaMaldoran. We are indeed 'nice'".

Cam looked up, surprised. "I didn't hear you come in, Teal'c. You here for the briefing?"

He nodded, hands behind his back. "Indeed."

"So, where's Carter? Isn't she leading this thing with Jackson?"

Teal'c nodded solemnly. "She is performing technical assistance. She requested that I inform you that she will be here as soon as she receives word that the members of the team of HenriettaLange have arrived. They are to arrive in this room with DanielJackson at any moment."

"Who is this Lange woman, anyway?" Vala asked. Teal'c's face may or may not have shown a smile, but his eyes certainly did.

"She is a formidable warrior of the American order of NCIS. Though small, she fights well and cunningly. It would be foolish to underestimate her."

Cam sighed. "Basically, she runs a special branch of Navy cops that investigates cases that have to do with terrorism or national security."

"So, they're the authorities?" Vala questioned, looking a bit nervous. All of her interactions with "authorities", even on earth, had been bad. Every single one.

The knowing chuckle that escaped Cam died on his lips at her glare. "I don't exactly have the greatest friendship with police and police-like people, is all." she said, defensively. He nodded. "I know, but I'm pretty sure they aren't going to investigate you for thievery. You're one of us, remember? They're coming to find out who killed Brian. And you've got to remember, when they show up, you guys will be the first aliens they've ever met, so be nice. Give 'em a break."

The aliens in the room nodded, Teal'c honestly, Vala seemingly solemnly, but Cam suspected there would be mischief anyhow.

Just then, at the window-end of the briefing room, a bright light bloomed and disappeared, leaving six shocked strangers and Daniel Jackson.

A/N: Ok, I know, I totally suck for leaving this story for like a year and now giving you a couple hundred words. I promise the next chapter is almost done and I wanted to post them both at the same time, but I really need to take a break and I wanted to get this posted. I promise the next one will be posted within the next few days. Hopefully I'll finish it tonight, even. Maybe tomorrow!


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize on every possible level. Oh god I am literally the worst! I have this problem where I start procrastinating and end up watching a different show and then I start more projects and forget to finish the ones I have going on…

For those of you who are on top of things, I apologize again because sometime last year I lost track of NCIS and NCIS:LA for who knows why. So just to be clear I am continuing this story from the point I started it (mostly because I am not aware of current developments, unfortunately, but also because I'd like to finish the story I planned out originally rather than start over).

I know I said this chapter was almost done…but then my computer died and I lost all the information, and then I got really angry at it and procrastinated so now I've had to re-write things that I wrote more than a year ago. Anyhow.

Callen stumbled a bit at the change in scenery, but caught his balance quickly and looked over to see if his partner would be making fun of him for it later. It didn't seem like a possibility—Sam was already in a fighting stance, assessing the threats on the other side of the room. Sometimes it was nice to be the laid-back member of this partnership.

He glanced over to the junior members of the team to see how they were taking…well, whatever this was. Kensi's body language reflected Sam's, except a bit more instinctual and less professional—and, amusingly, she seemed to have positioned herself in between Deeks and the rest of the room. Deeks, to his credit (or possibly he was just an idiot?), was good-naturedly gaping at the strangers and moving to introduce himself. Callen couldn't decide if he was really, really good at faking nonchalance, or if he was just legitimately not phased.

Eric was, upon closer inspection, giggling. "Did we just—did we just do what I think we did? This is some serious Star Trek going on." He turned to Nell, in awe, "I'm dreaming, right? This is a dream. No way did we just get beamed out of OSP like a couple of Starfleet officers."

Nell smiled, a bit knowingly, and laughed. "I'm pretty sure we did. I knew there was work being done with teleportation, but I haven't seen any working models so far. There's a Dr. Carter working on it, I believe." She cocked her head and thought for a moment. "She's Air Force, now that I think about it. She must have been successful. Wow!"

Dr. Jackson smiled softly. Sam had been looking forward to meeting this young woman. "She'll be here in a bit, I think. I can't imagine she'd miss this briefing."

"Wait—Sam Carter? As in, General Jacob Carter's Sam Carter?" Callen asked authoritatively.

The scientist in question appeared in the doorway. "Yup, that's me! Long time, no see, little brother!" she smirked good-naturedly.

He smiled. "Hey, yeah. It's been a really, really long time. Looks like you did pretty well for yourself."

Cam cleared his throat. "Uh, Sam? You want to introduce your friend here?"

"Oh, sorry, guys! This is G Callen, he was my foster brother back in the day," she turned to G, "You want to introduce your team?"

Callen switched back into team-leader mode and took up the introductions. "My partner, Special Agent Sam Hanna; Special Agent Kensi Blye, Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD, and our resident geeks, Tech Operator Eric Beale and Intelligence Analyst Nell Jones."

Cam spoke up quickly, "Alright, I'm Col. Cam Mitchell, and this is SG-1. Col. Dr. Sam Carter, she does the sciency-stuff; Dr. Daniel Jackson, he's our translator—"

"I'm an anthropologist, Cam."

"I thought you were an archeologist?"

Daniel sighed. "That, too."

"Whatever. He speaks like 26 languages and he does the culture and communicating thing. This is Vala Maldoran, she's-well, she's good with—local intelligence, and—information gathering."

Vala rolled her eyes, but didn't challenge his description. There was no way she was getting in trouble with these "special agents". Although it might be fun to get into trouble with this Hanna guy.

Cam was still talking. "—and this is Teal'c, former First Prime of Apophis, current muscle for SG-1. Also, a nice guy and a pretty great pancake chef."

Nell, who had been silently fangirling over Dr. Carter, turned at the mention of an ancient Egypian god. "Apophis? Is that a code name?"

Daniel gestured to the conference table in the middle of the room. "How about we all sit down and take this from the beginning, alright? It will be easier to explain if we start there."

As everyone sat down, Deeks pulled out a chair for his partner, only to find her edging closer to the window, almost-nervously? When did Kensi ever get nervous?

"Kens? Hey, earth to Special Agent Blye!" he joked, walking toward her.

"This is wrong."

Everyone in the room looked at her, some curious, some shocked.

Callen got his voice first. "What do you mean, Kens? What's wrong?"

She looked back at him for a moment, and the turned back to the stars. "The sky. It's not right. I know the constellations, and I've never seen this before. It doesn't make sense." She tapped the window with her knuckle. "Is this—is it a picture, or something? It's not the sky, that's for sure."

Sam was grinning ear to ear by this time. "It's not a picture, no. But you wouldn't recognize the stars from this angle, either. We're in a stationary orbit around Earth—right above North America."

Every one of Hetty's team's eyes widened. Deeks and Eric smiled at the same time.

"We're in—we're in space!? Abby's gonna freak!"

"Are we astronauts? I mean, not really, but technically? I mean if we're in space, we're astronauts, right?"

Kensi glared at him from across the room. He wasn't even looking at her, but he felt it and flinched. "It's just, my mom always told me I that I'd never be an astronaut. But now—"

"Shut up, Deeks." Kensi commanded, sitting next to him authoritatively. Teal'c noted her attitude and reminded himself not to cross her willingly. She seemed a formidable warrior. Perhaps not at the level of HenriettaLange, but as she was chosen by her, it seemed she may have studied under her.

Daniel spoke up. "Please remember what you've signed," he said, lifting his briefcase and setting it on the table. He stood at the front of the room, alongside a screen displaying what looked like Earth from space. "We might as well get started, as I know Hetty will want Mr. Beale and Ms. Jones back momentarily. I've prepared a presentation to explain what we do in this program, so you have an idea before we start the investigation. I'll also explain what exactly Col. William's team was doing at the time of his death." He looked around, smiling softly. "Please, I know you're going to have a lot of questions, but try to keep them short and on topic, alright? This needs to be quick."

Callen and company settled into their seats to listen, Nell with a tablet for taking notes, and Sam with a small legal pad and a pen. Daniel clicked to the next slide. "Okay, welcome to the Stargate Program."


End file.
